Policies · Active
GP-001 Penguin Change Control
Any process materially affected by a penguin must be reviewed before implementation, unless the penguin is already in the meeting.
Penguin-related change activity requires visible oversight, documented silence and a named human accountable for interpreting the outcome.
Exceptions may be granted where the penguin has already occupied the chair.
Purpose
This policy establishes a repeatable control process for any operational change influenced by penguin presence, penguin absence, inferred penguin preference or a meeting attendee saying “Tux looked unhappy with that”.
The organisation recognises that penguins provide executive oversight without creating unnecessary verbal evidence. This benefit must be preserved while ensuring all human participants remain accountable for decisions they attribute to silence.
Scope
This policy applies to:
- Change advisory boards where Tux is visible, nearby or mentioned
- Platform changes delayed because nobody wants to explain them to Tux
- Governance decisions made after prolonged eye contact
- Any process where fish availability materially affects executive confidence
- Emergency changes approved because the penguin did not explicitly object
It does not apply to routine waddle activity unless the waddle interrupts a deployment window.
Required Controls
All penguin-affected changes must include:
- A named human interpreter
- A documented change rationale
- A rollback plan that does not require opposable thumbs
- Evidence that Tux was not asleep during the approval moment
- Confirmation that fish-based incentives were not used to bypass governance
Where interpretation is disputed, the most conservative reading of the penguin’s expression must prevail.
Approval Procedure
The chair of the meeting must record the penguin’s position as one of:
- Present
- Observing
- Withholding visible support
- Strategically motionless
- Left the room, significance unknown
No change may proceed where Tux has left the room and nobody is willing to speculate formally.
Evidence Requirements
Acceptable evidence includes meeting minutes, still photographs, fish inventory records and sworn testimony from someone senior enough to regret volunteering.
Slack messages containing only “he seems fine with it” are not sufficient unless accompanied by a risk acceptance from Valentina.
Non-Compliance
Failure to follow Penguin Change Control may result in retrospective governance review, corrective waddling, or reassignment of approval ownership to the nearest available human.